Two Hitachis

A friend sent me a link to a great price for a Hitachi vibrator on Amazon — a price so low that I momentarily freaked, dropped my phone, executed a 5-second happy dance with lots of leg lifting, and placed my order.

I did not need a new Hitachi, but I rationalized the purchase by telling myself that this would be a “basement Hitachi,” and I would keep my other, relatively new one upstairs as my “bedroom Hitachi.”

Which, of course, had me questioning my monogamy.

Do I need a “bedroom man” and a “basement man?” Can the tenderness of romance, cuddling and making love be found with the same person who will pull my hair, shove a piece of glass up my ass and tie me to the rafters?

Or am I destined for two, distinct love-flavors?

I’m not going to kiss and tell (really, I’m not, everything is theory here), but I believe that there is someone who can transition as easily from the bedroom to the basement as I can. Someone who would be just as likely to hogtie me and use me on a Friday night as he would to take me to the Farmers’ Market and buy me flowers on a Saturday morning.

I resolve to have some fun. Although my heart may eventually follow that same old, monogamous path — boring, maybe, but for which I offer no apologies — my body wants what it wants. I won’t deny either for any one man.

The two, heart and body, must reconcile eventually. Won’t they?

Until then, there’s a great deal on under-the-bed restraints that would work perfectly upstairs.

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