So She Wants to be Spanked — FAQs

She may have blurted it out, or hid her face in her hands and confessed it, but the news is out: your girlfriend wants you to spank her.

Outside of sex, the thought had never occurred to you. After visiting Spanking Tube and perusing the internet, the idea begins to grow. It’s kind of sexy, no? Her round bottom over your lap, flesh connecting with flesh. There’s something attractive about her being “at your mercy”. And she did ask you for it.

As an obliging lover, you are game. Now what?

Here are some very basic answers to help get you started, written from my perspective:

1. Is it okay if it hurts?

It’s thoughtful that you’ve asked this question — and one of the reasons I chose you — but I’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t hurt.

If I want you to spank me, it’s because I trust you with my physical well-being. While a spanking should be, at the very least, mildly uncomfortable (and embarrassing), it shouldn’t do any lasting harm. My bottom, with its full cheeks and feminine padding, was designed to be spanked. For me, the pain is a fundamental part of the psychology: I’m submitting to you, a man I respect, despite the discomfort.

That’s a huge turn-on and an opportunity for you to show me that I was right in trusting you. Don’t waste it.

2. You are struggling. Does that mean I should stop?

Unless my safe word has been spoken (we discussed that, right?), a struggle is a good sign. Don’t stop. Recommended actions are: scissoring your legs over mine to keep me in place; pinning my flailing arms behind my back; safely restraining me to the bedposts.

Make me feel secure but stop on your terms.

3. Why do you want to be spanked?

There is an easy answer to this: I just do. I also want to be kissed, cuddled and fucked, but nobody ever questions those origins.

Spanking is a way to achieve a deeper level of intimacy. It requires trust from both partners that, for example, kissing doesn’t. Although certainly physical, spanking goes beyond that. We’re engaging in an intellectual and emotional dance with submission and power in the orchestra pit.

Plus it makes me dripping wet. That should be reason enough.

4. Do you always need to be spanked to tears?

I rarely need to cry from a spanking. I’m more likely to cry before one! What I do need, however, is communication and intimacy.

5. How can I spank you to tears?

It’s usually not from anything you’re doing physically. I’m a tough chick and — remember — I like pain to an extent.

If I’ve expressed the need for tears or — through your amazing intuition — you’ve sensed it, it will come down to your ability to connect with me on a higher plane. What’s been bothering me? Is there something going on with us that needs to be addressed? What am I stressed about? Drawing those feelings out, making me examine them while safely over your lap, with your hand rubbing my back, will help us achieve the catharsis that we both need.

Happy spanking!

Post Categories: unbuttoned
  • Q says:

    I love your writings.

  • Emen says:

    Congrats on Chross!

    And your new advice column?

    Ask Miss Pink

    Agony Auntie Pinky

    The Pink Guide to Spanking Etiquette

  • Cruel says:

    ” Plus it makes me dripping wet. That should be reason enough.”

    And it is but the tears and the trust make it so much more.

    Well said pink as always


  • bobbsroom says:

    I love this Pink. As the spanker I can identify with all the answers. I like the act itself but I particularly like consent, the more the better because to me it conveys a person’s complete trust in me and a mutual respect for each other. When the trust level gets high enough, people transcend apparent limits, discovering new and awesome abilities for which they were previously unaware.

    BOB B xx

  • Larken says:

    “We’re engaging in an intellectual and emotional dance with submission and power in the orchestra pit.”

    That takes my breath away, Pink. You are a poet.

    Thank you for all you write and share.

    • Pink says:

      Thank you, Larken! 🙂 Your compliment made me smile big.

      This whole thing we do takes my breath away. It never gets old!


  • dd says:

    Pink, I think that is a great help guide to those who want their lover to spank them. I may keep it on file, just in case BBH forgets…

  • Lea says:

    I tried to catch up here yesterday but my internet would not load your blog. Very annoying. Anyway, great advice! I like what you said about the spanked to tears thing too. If someone has that goal based purely on the physical part, I think it is setting one up to be let down.

  • Pink says:

    Yeah, the server was acting up. I don’t think anyone was more annoyed about it than I was. Damn frustrating, but all better now!

    You’re a tough girl like me, Lea. 🙂


  • Dave Wolfe says:

    Late in replying to this, but it is brilliant, Pink. I especially like your common sense answer to “why do you want to be spanked,” and even better that you ended it on a chuckle! If I get that question from any non-initiate in the future, I’m planning on quoting you. Or most of your answer. (“Or moist of your answer.”)

  • nympha says:

    Great list of reasons! I especially liked the part about the struggling. It’s fun and sexy to be feisty when being spanked 🙂

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