Some day soon you will be BOLD.
You will desire to do things that you didn’t know existed and lead a life that you had no name for.You will talk to strangers, ALL OF THE TIME. When those strangers call you a “delicious slut”, you won’t be offended — it will be high praise.
Those spankings you hated so much growing up will seem like love taps in comparison to the spankings you now request.
You will be spanked. Often. And you will always want more.
The hottest thing a man can say to you now is, “Get over my lap, young lady.” And instead of sending you flowers on Valentine’s Day, he’ll send you to the corner.
But you will love deeper than you thought possible; you will be loved deeply in return.
Even though your preference will still be mostly for men, you will spend hours on the internet looking at naked women. This will arouse you.
Because of the time you spend in this state of arousal, you have perfected the art of masturbation. You can finish in 2.3 minutes.
In your possession will be a hundred pictures of yourself.
Seventy percent of them will be of your ass in varying shades of pink.
All of these things, these shocking things, make you happy. You are breathtakingly happy.
Oh, and one more thing…when you throw that kegger your senior year of college, don’t get on your bicycle afterward to impress that boy. He will not be impressed by a broken collar bone and will instead make out with your best friend while waiting for you in the Emergency Room.
Hugs,
Pink
But making out with someone when you’re both half drunk in the ER waiting room in college waiting on your even more drunk friend that did something silly which led. To all of you being in the ER area is a lot of fun! Tdont ask me how I know!) Great post, as always.
And please don’t blame me for typos on this phone!
No problem. I’ll blame the phone.
Hey, wait…is your name Tim?
I’m no good with talking to strangers in person, don’t get me started on forced elevator chatter… But doing so online is good! “You can finish in 2.3 minutes.” That is… exact! I’m not even gonna ask…
Yeah, even if you asked, I wouldn’t answer how I arrived at the 2.3 minutes.
I don’t do the online chatting so much anymore, but it certainly cut through the weather chatter and uncomfortable pauses that you find in face-to-face interactions. I was such a chat slut. And I loved it!