Tops. This is where I sigh and roll my eyes. This is where I list some of the sins of the walking paradox — the Top.
1. They admire us for our intelligence but spank us for our smart mouths. If they didn’t want us to be smart, they should be spanking someone dumb.
2. They twist the words that we say into the words that we actually mean. How dare they?
3. They carelessly yank our panties up between our cheeks so they can benefit from pantie-clad and bare-bottom at the same time. I thought they were supposed to be the decisive bunch.
4. They confuse the first words we ever learned — no and yes. A plea of, “No, not so hard,” might as well be, “What a lovely wooden paddle. Yes, my butt would be honored.”
5. Spanking us for using foul language but then — minutes later — fucking the shit out of us while encouraging us to say pussy and cock and harder, don’t you dare stop. Seems a bit like a mixed message, doesn’t it?
Incidentally — shhh — these transgressions are what I like best about Tops. Turns out I’m a sinner, too. Who’d have thought?